12.30 AM
Sleep evaded me. I had been tossing in bed for nearly an hour, before I sat up, reluctantly accepting the inherent futility in trying to force my somnambulist brain to go to sleep. Staring out the window, I fixed my distant gaze on the sole source of light in the horizon, a lamp post. Yours truly being in a mood for personification, it resembled a young boy, head hung low, standing all alone on the pavement of a unused road, scratching his head, with nought but the night sky for company. Solitary company, I chuckled to myself, taking unusual pleasure in the oxymoron. Scanning the room to see if I had awoken anybody, I returned my gaze to this lamp post. On second thoughts, he seemed more like an old man. A wise geriatric, ruminating on the days of yore. True, that made more sense. I could almost see him crack a tiny smile, in the reflection below, the smile of a man at peace with oneself. My imagination was running riot, and sleep was round the corner, I thought.
I was wrong. The 'smile' I had seen, was simply the shadow of a bike. It awoke dramatically, its headlamps illuminating the pot-holed road ahead of it, before it sailed away into the night, relinquishing to the scene the semblance of tranquility that it had temporarily distorted. A black bruiser of a machine, it was mounted by a strapping bloke. Having caught not more than a fleeting glimpse, I could barely discern his features. Where was he going at this time of the day? And why? As it always has, irresistible urge to understand something completely unrelated to me, placed me under a vice like grip. Inextricably intrigued, my mind began to hypothesise, weaving around this sole instance, a tale of pain, herculean effort and dramatic retribution. That tale is for another day. The poor chap was probably just returning home. Still, at this ungodly hour?
Ungodly hour. Why was it called that? Admittedly, it was dark, an attribute not associated with the God, but it was tranquil. Beautifully so. The breathtaking silence would fill the air, and an indifference would be adopted. An indifference to despondence, misery and every other of those earthly problems, those which would seem inconceivably insignificant against the background of the never-ending skies. I knew not, at that moment, if this earth on which I stood was the core of the universe or if it was but a speck of dust lost in eternity. I knew not and I couldn't care less. For I knew that happiness was possible to me on earth. The night sky told me so, dispelling memories of those earthly mishaps, and filling my soul with hope. It was, in my opinion, far from ungodly. What was ungodly, anyway?
The lamp post flickered momentarily, distracting me. I sat erect, waiting with bated breath, for something to happen. Nothing did. Probably just a voltage fluctuation. Where was I? . . . Yes, ungodly.
What was God? This entirely variable humanoid/formless force, with unimaginable power, good intentions and a fetish for creation; seems at first, to any rational thinker, product of the imagination of leaders of primordial society, created solely for the purpose of maintaining peace and harmony in society. It was in my opinion, like religion in that respect, but entirely different in all others. You see, God works through faith and fear, whereas religion binds one man to another using a cultural fabric, which when slowly woven around a society, creates a similar sense of harmony. A certain somebody had once said, 'God and religion have as much to do with one another as the common man and the democratic government. People just believe that they influence one another'. I digress. Returning to god. It's like a friend of mine once ranted. "If God exists, he/she/it is objective truth, beyond any freedom of opinion. If each religion's understanding of God outside of the usual 'good' attributes, is necessarily at odds with the other religions, someone has clearly got it wrong, haven't they? Of course there is the possibility that everyone has it wrong. . . . . but that is a different story."
At that moment the street lamp died, and simultaneously the fan above me crept towards inactivity. It was a power blackout. Not accustomed to sleeping without the ceiling fan, I accepted sleeplessness as my fate for the night. I considered getting a glass of water, but laziness trumped boredom, as I sat transfixed, my gaze slowly scanning the nothingness that lay before for an object to look at. The search was pointless, the darkness seemed impenetrable and overwhelming. The whole world around me was sound asleep. I? I was awake, sweaty and frustrated.
The thought of people around me led me to a new avenue. For all the diversity that existed in the homo sapiens, for all the differences from culture to culture, this belief in the existence of a higher power seemed to be a constant. Every society, from the isolated island dwellers, to the random boiling pot in the Manhattan, has seen belief in God, at some stage or the other. Of course, there were, and have always been people who circumvented this belief and questioned the entire process, from a rational standpoint. Them apart, everybody has believed in god. And this, for me was odd. Odd, because, I've never seen any other animal engage in some seemingly senseless behavior to appease a higher power. So odd, that it led me to consider this belief in god being archetypal in humans. If so, why was it that way? Dear reader, at this point I shall assume that you, much like myself, have no qualms with Charles Darwin's theory of evolution. Having to say that is silly, but I've come to learn that certain sects refute this scientifically proven fact.
The moon reappeared from behind the veil of clouds, and the darkness was overcome. It is commonly accepted, that it is our unmatched intelligence that has distinguished our species from all others. Yet, my mind drifted to Christopher Nolan's Joker, and Heath Ledger's brilliant portrayal of the same. Resonating in my head at that point, were his thoughts on civilized people. The powerful delivery, with all that quirky brilliance, on human morals. "Their morals, their code . . . It's a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. When the chips are down, . . these civilized people? They'll eat each other" For somebody who hasn't seen the clip, the previous sentence is utterly meaningless. If you've watched it, you'll know what I mean.
This was where Darwin came into the picture. What I mean is, maybe, in spite of all our intelligence, we would have gone extinct years ago, due to various forms of infighting. Maybe, our belief in a larger power was the only thing that kept us alive. Maybe, this was the adaptation that ensured survival. Maybe, the concept wasn't created by the intellectuals of our society to ensure peace and harmony. Maybe, it just existed within us, for the same purpose. Maybe, and this more unlikely than the rest, I was falling asleep after all.
1.15 AM
I think I heard the fan start working again. Thank you, god.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Sleep evaded me. I had been tossing in bed for nearly an hour, before I sat up, reluctantly accepting the inherent futility in trying to force my somnambulist brain to go to sleep. Staring out the window, I fixed my distant gaze on the sole source of light in the horizon, a lamp post. Yours truly being in a mood for personification, it resembled a young boy, head hung low, standing all alone on the pavement of a unused road, scratching his head, with nought but the night sky for company. Solitary company, I chuckled to myself, taking unusual pleasure in the oxymoron. Scanning the room to see if I had awoken anybody, I returned my gaze to this lamp post. On second thoughts, he seemed more like an old man. A wise geriatric, ruminating on the days of yore. True, that made more sense. I could almost see him crack a tiny smile, in the reflection below, the smile of a man at peace with oneself. My imagination was running riot, and sleep was round the corner, I thought.
I was wrong. The 'smile' I had seen, was simply the shadow of a bike. It awoke dramatically, its headlamps illuminating the pot-holed road ahead of it, before it sailed away into the night, relinquishing to the scene the semblance of tranquility that it had temporarily distorted. A black bruiser of a machine, it was mounted by a strapping bloke. Having caught not more than a fleeting glimpse, I could barely discern his features. Where was he going at this time of the day? And why? As it always has, irresistible urge to understand something completely unrelated to me, placed me under a vice like grip. Inextricably intrigued, my mind began to hypothesise, weaving around this sole instance, a tale of pain, herculean effort and dramatic retribution. That tale is for another day. The poor chap was probably just returning home. Still, at this ungodly hour?
Ungodly hour. Why was it called that? Admittedly, it was dark, an attribute not associated with the God, but it was tranquil. Beautifully so. The breathtaking silence would fill the air, and an indifference would be adopted. An indifference to despondence, misery and every other of those earthly problems, those which would seem inconceivably insignificant against the background of the never-ending skies. I knew not, at that moment, if this earth on which I stood was the core of the universe or if it was but a speck of dust lost in eternity. I knew not and I couldn't care less. For I knew that happiness was possible to me on earth. The night sky told me so, dispelling memories of those earthly mishaps, and filling my soul with hope. It was, in my opinion, far from ungodly. What was ungodly, anyway?
The lamp post flickered momentarily, distracting me. I sat erect, waiting with bated breath, for something to happen. Nothing did. Probably just a voltage fluctuation. Where was I? . . . Yes, ungodly.
What was God? This entirely variable humanoid/formless force, with unimaginable power, good intentions and a fetish for creation; seems at first, to any rational thinker, product of the imagination of leaders of primordial society, created solely for the purpose of maintaining peace and harmony in society. It was in my opinion, like religion in that respect, but entirely different in all others. You see, God works through faith and fear, whereas religion binds one man to another using a cultural fabric, which when slowly woven around a society, creates a similar sense of harmony. A certain somebody had once said, 'God and religion have as much to do with one another as the common man and the democratic government. People just believe that they influence one another'. I digress. Returning to god. It's like a friend of mine once ranted. "If God exists, he/she/it is objective truth, beyond any freedom of opinion. If each religion's understanding of God outside of the usual 'good' attributes, is necessarily at odds with the other religions, someone has clearly got it wrong, haven't they? Of course there is the possibility that everyone has it wrong. . . . . but that is a different story."
At that moment the street lamp died, and simultaneously the fan above me crept towards inactivity. It was a power blackout. Not accustomed to sleeping without the ceiling fan, I accepted sleeplessness as my fate for the night. I considered getting a glass of water, but laziness trumped boredom, as I sat transfixed, my gaze slowly scanning the nothingness that lay before for an object to look at. The search was pointless, the darkness seemed impenetrable and overwhelming. The whole world around me was sound asleep. I? I was awake, sweaty and frustrated.
The thought of people around me led me to a new avenue. For all the diversity that existed in the homo sapiens, for all the differences from culture to culture, this belief in the existence of a higher power seemed to be a constant. Every society, from the isolated island dwellers, to the random boiling pot in the Manhattan, has seen belief in God, at some stage or the other. Of course, there were, and have always been people who circumvented this belief and questioned the entire process, from a rational standpoint. Them apart, everybody has believed in god. And this, for me was odd. Odd, because, I've never seen any other animal engage in some seemingly senseless behavior to appease a higher power. So odd, that it led me to consider this belief in god being archetypal in humans. If so, why was it that way? Dear reader, at this point I shall assume that you, much like myself, have no qualms with Charles Darwin's theory of evolution. Having to say that is silly, but I've come to learn that certain sects refute this scientifically proven fact.
The moon reappeared from behind the veil of clouds, and the darkness was overcome. It is commonly accepted, that it is our unmatched intelligence that has distinguished our species from all others. Yet, my mind drifted to Christopher Nolan's Joker, and Heath Ledger's brilliant portrayal of the same. Resonating in my head at that point, were his thoughts on civilized people. The powerful delivery, with all that quirky brilliance, on human morals. "Their morals, their code . . . It's a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. When the chips are down, . . these civilized people? They'll eat each other" For somebody who hasn't seen the clip, the previous sentence is utterly meaningless. If you've watched it, you'll know what I mean.
This was where Darwin came into the picture. What I mean is, maybe, in spite of all our intelligence, we would have gone extinct years ago, due to various forms of infighting. Maybe, our belief in a larger power was the only thing that kept us alive. Maybe, this was the adaptation that ensured survival. Maybe, the concept wasn't created by the intellectuals of our society to ensure peace and harmony. Maybe, it just existed within us, for the same purpose. Maybe, and this more unlikely than the rest, I was falling asleep after all.
1.15 AM
I think I heard the fan start working again. Thank you, god.
_________________________________________________________________________________
